Halfway to Nowhere
by EchoIvy
Summary: Jade Cooper and Christine Michaels didn’t ask to be zapped into a new world, and they ‘so’ didn’t want to be swept off into some legendary quest. Is it all just a random act, or is there some larger purpose for them in this world they've been dro
1. Chapter One

Another 'girl drops into ME'  
*Sigh*  
This one is much less depressing, and much funnier then my other fic 'FPtoP'... I think.  
Same as FPtoP, the characters have no knowledge of 'ME' or the books. They don't exist.  
  
I own nothing. (Getting sick of saying that.... depressing....)  
  
  
Halfway to Nowhere  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
  
  
Jade Cooper had never been ordinary, from her abnormally pointed ears to her fascination with the Magical arts; she'd always been the odd man out.   
Jade sat watching the night sky and it's complete 'lack' of stars, she longed for stars, or trees or even just water that didn't come out of the tap gray and smelling funny. Then again, anything would have been better then the slum home that she lived in with her drunken, deadbeat Uncle Robert. Robert Cooper had been her mother's brother, and when her mother had died when she was 7 she'd been left in his care, if you could call it that.   
  
Her and her Uncle 'shared' a bungalow with her uncles' equally drunken, deadbeat friends. There were two bedrooms in the tiny house, and if she were lucky, she'd get the lumpy, crusty 30-year-old couch.   
  
"Lucky" she snorted humorlessly to herself.   
  
The very idea that it was lucky to sleep on that death trap made her want to laugh and slam her head into a wall at the same time. Tonight though her 'luck' had run out, there was officially 'no vacancies' left at her home. She'd been told to find somewhere else to sleep. Of course her uncles' friends had been full of many helpful suggestions. There rude grunts of 'over here baby,' and 'I'll keep you warm sugar' had left her nauseated and more then a little pissed off.   
  
So here Jade sat watching clouds roll in over the sky, she could hear the rumble of thunder off in the distance and smiled to herself. Jade loved storms, she loved the feeling of the rain on her face but most of all she loved the memories of her and her mother playing tag in the cool spring rains before she had died. They were also, coincidently, one of favorite times to practice her spells, not strictly because of the weather itself, through she liked to tell herself that it helped, it was the calm before the storm that worked to her advantage. People stayed home, and she had lots of peace to work her spells.   
  
She jumped down off the roof of the school and landed gracefully on the paved tarmac below. It just was one of the odd talents that she possessed; she also had the ability to be abnormally sneaky, very quick, and she had amazingly enhanced vision. Furthermore, she found that she healed quicker then most, and for as far back at she could remember, she'd never been sick.  
  
She hadn't had many true friends; most of the friends she had made during school had eventually turned on her because they're jealousy of her grace and beauty, though Jade refused to believe this. It was hard for her to make new friends now; she was painfully shy and very self-conscious. She hadn't always been that way, but her ex-friends and Uncle had taken her already low self-esteem to a point where it was almost nonexistent.  
  
Thankfully she at least still had one true friend left; Christine Michaels, whom was currently grumbling bitterly about Jade's freakish tendencies as she climbed down off the schools roof, was the only person Jade felt safe around. Jade just grinned at her friend's playful insults and muttered,   
  
'Jealous' under her breathe.   
  
Outraged Christine sputtered, and cursed at her. Jade just laughed and motioned for her friend to follow. The differences between the two friends were painfully obvious, they were as if night and day. Where as Jade was an introvert, Christine was an extrovert. Where Jade was cool and calm, and very seldom lost her head, Christine had always been the first one to run around in a blind panic. But the two friends couldn't have been closer, they were exactly what the other needed, Christine brought Jade out of her shell, and Jade kept Chris from getting into to much trouble, or getting her out of trouble, more often. Jade's Ying to Christine's Yang, you couldn't have one without the other.   
  
The girls crept up the quiet street; only street lamps lit the way as they neared the park on 5th street. Black clouds raced across the sky from the east, and the wind was roaring in their ears, blowing straight through Jades blue jeans and peasant top. Jade's short black hair whipped around her face, and her green eyes blazed in excitement. Christine fumbled with the hood on her sweater, pulling it up against the wind. She rubbed her cold legs through cargo pants, all the while cursing at her best friend. They entered the park the first of the rain fell, it was bitterly cold, but Jade ignored it. Kneeling in the middle of the field she lay her palms down on the soaking grass while her friend stood above her, watching warily. It had taken moments for them to be drenched to the bone; Christine shivered and rubbed her hands together in a mixture of the freezing cold rain and deep frustration.  
  
"Are you crazy!" Christine yelled at her, "Lets get out of here, were going to freeze to death!"  
  
"No! I wanna do the spell," Jade yelled over the wind, "please!"  
  
Christine knew what spell Jade meant, she had been talking about it since she had found it. Jade had explained that it could only be done while surrounded by the elements at there strongest points, whatever that meant. She took in Jades pleading demeanor and sighed in resignation. Jade had been through so much in her life, she would do anything to buy her friend a little peace.  
  
"Alright," She yelled, "but if I die I'm going to kick your ass!"  
  
"Come on, sit here. Take my hands! All you have to do is say the words we practiced together. You remember them don't you? Christine nodded absently, still trying to remember the complicated verse.  
  
Jade began, her head thrown back, shouting the words to whatever higher power she was calling.   
  
"Guardians of the watchtowers of the West, I call thee, show me my true self, show me my true purpose, give me direction in my hour of need."  
  
Christine watched Jade yelling the words over and over and did the same, hoping she would get it right.  
  
"Guardians of the watchtowers of the West, I call thee, show me my true self… give me my true purpose… show me direction in my hour of need."  
  
The moment the words left her lips she new they had been wrong, a surge of white light gathered around them, and a loud voice boomed, making them shiver in fright. "So have you asked, so shall it be!" Then all there was, was darkness. 


	2. Chapter Two

Explanations: See chapter one.  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
Jade groaned in agony, her head spun and churned in a way that made her feel nauseated. Her hands were trapped beneath her, and where tingling painfully from lack of circulation, and to boot she seemed to be laying face first in a puddle of mud.   
  
"Pip, get away from them!"  
"Why? Do you think they are dead Merry?"  
"Mr. Frodo sir, should we… help them?"  
"I don't know, we cannot leave them here, can we?"  
"I've got my stick! I'll poke 'em to see if they live."  
"You poke me and I swear you'll wish I 'were' dead."  
  
That was a voice she knew! She heard a loud moan beside her and turned her head towards it. Christine was sitting up, trying to rub her face free of the mud that lay there. Christine's light auburn hair was filthy and her brown eyes melted into the mud on her face.   
  
"Still alive I see" Jade muttered bitterly, "all the better for me to kill you I guess" Chris raised her hands in a defensive gesture.   
  
"I've got witnesses!" Jade huffed and dragged herself into a sitting position before studying their audience.  
  
Four young boys stood around them, wearing old-fashioned clothing. They had dark hair and abnormally large and hairy feet.   
  
"What the hell are you guys?" Christine asked in shock.  
"Chris!" Jade yelped, horrified  
"What!"   
  
Jade sighed and then glanced up at the boys, they were watching them closely and she blushed furiously at their obvious amusement.   
'Odd looking critters' she though in amazement as she stood up slowly, not wanting to startle the strange boys. She swayed slightly on her feet but was caught by one of the boy's arms.  
  
"Who are you?" The one who had helped her asked. Chris was standing beside her, her eyes wide with shock as she gazed around.  
  
"I'm Jade Cooper," she said softly "And this is my friend Christine Michaels." Jade tugged on Christine's hand, but the girl didn't appear to notice.  
  
"What are you looking at…" Jade stopped short, her expression mirroring that of her friends. Trees, there was nothing but trees on all side of them. Stars blazed overhead and the air smelled clean and crisp.   
  
"Where the hell are we?!" Said Christine with a shudder.  
"Your just outside of Bree." answered one of the boys.  
"Bree?" Christine looked at Jade and her eyebrows rose in a silent question.  
"Umm, what is the name of the place, the whole place I mean?" The boy, who answered previously blinked, put off.  
"Middle Earth my lady."   
  
Jade just shivered, 'middle earth, oh dear god!'  
"Oh we are so screwed!" Chris yelped, grabbing Jades wrist. Jade shushed her friend gently then turned to the boys once again.   
"Who, and if you don't mind my asking, what are you?  
  
"I'm Pippin," a boy with curly hair said, "that's Merry" he said pointing to the boy next to him, "And that's Sam" Sam gave a shy wave, "and that over there is Frodo." The last boy hung back, one hand resting eerily hovering over his pocket. "And were all Hobbits!"  
  
"Hobbits? You've got to be kidding! What the hell have you been smoking!! Jade, I think we should get out of here, these kids are nuts!"  
  
Jade rolled her eyes at her friend's lack of tact.  
  
"Shut it Chris" she said lightly.  
  
Christine's jaw snapped shut with an audible click, she crossed her arms and glared moodily ahead.   
  
The boy-Hobbit Sam stepped forward, his eyes darting between them nervously.  
  
"You do not have anything against Hobbits do you?"   
  
Christine's snort sounded oddly like the word 'crackers' but other then that she remained silent. Jade rubbed her head; there was a growing pounding behind her eyes.   
  
"We don't have anything against Hobbits, Sam, it's just that where we come from there is no such thing." Christine regarded her silently for many moments before her eyes grew large and she gasped.   
  
"You mean we're… They're… The spell… Son of a bitch!" Christine cried, throwing her hands up in the air. The Hobbits watched in horrified fascination as she swore, freely and graphically. Jade was very thankful that they wouldn't understand most of it, though by there wide eyes, Jade figured that they got the jest of it.   
  
"Where are you from then?" Pippin asked, Jade though for a moment before answering.  
"Another world, a parallel universe, I think."  
"You think?" Christine said in small voice, "be sure!"  
  
The Hobbits looked at each other in amazement, and not a little suspicion.  
  
"Where are you headed?" Jade asked, not really feeling like being alone it this unfamiliar world. "Do you mind if we tag along?" Merry, Pippin, and Sam looked to Frodo, whom looked at them with wary eyes, his hand holding firmly to his breast pocket.   
  
"You may, but I feel I must warn you, we are being pursued by black rides. It may be dangerous" Jade nodded once to him.  
"We'll take the risk"  
"We will!?"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Bree turned out to be about two hours away from the spot that they had landed. Jade had spent the time walking thinking and re thinking there situation. There had to be a reason that they were dropped it this world in particular. The Hobbit Frodo had said that they were in danger, perhaps their job was to help them, and maybe then they would be sent home. With that in mind Jade walked along with a new purpose, until they got home, she would keep the Hobbit safe.   
  
When they reached the gate to Bree Jade held herself and Christine in the shadows and let Frodo do the talking. The Gate Man let them in exclaiming, "Hobbits, 4 Hobbits, and oh my, ladies too!" As they walked up to the Prancing Pony, where Frodo said was where 'Gandalf' would meet them, Jade took Frodo and Sam under her arms. Christine followed her lead and tucked Pippin and Merry into her sides. Jade watch the men around her warily, aware of the lingering gaze on her Wet peasant top, and her tight jeans.   
  
When one man stepped forward and let his hand brush her breast she gripped his wrist and twisted him away, leading the Hobbits still faster towards the inn. Someone grabbed her from behind and she swung around, putting as much distance between the drunk and herself. He smiled at her and let his eyes drift to her chest. When her reached for her again she laid and had on his chest and muttered 'sleep' under her breathe. The man's eyes became hazy and he dropped to the ground in the middle of the street snoring in a magical induced slumber.   
  
She swerved again and entered the pub where the others were waiting.  
  
"What happened, where did you go!?" Christine demanded, "You were right behind us!" Jade smiled slightly at her panicked friend and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.   
"I just had to send some one to bed, I'm fine." These words seemed to inflame the Hobbits at her side into life.  
"That was amazing, how did you do that!" They exclaimed, "Was that magic?"  
Jade just nodded humbly, her cheeks flamed red in embarrassment.   
"Yeah, I can do a little magic." Christine snorted at her understatement, but was cut off from replying when the Innkeeper came over to them.  
  
"Good evening little masters, milady's, if your seeking accommodations we've got some nice cozy Hobbit size rooms available, and a few suited to your female companions as well… Mr.… ah?"  
Frodo only hesitated a moment, but it was enough to realize that he was lying, and from the look on the Innkeepers face, he knew it as well.  
"Underhill, my name is Underhill. Were friends of Gandalf the gray, can you tell him we've arrived?" The Inn looked thoughtful for a moment.  
"Gandalf? Gandalf… Oh yes! I remember him now, elderly chap, big gray beard, pointy hat."  
"Yeah!"  
"Not seem him for six months" The faces of the Hobbits dropped, and Jades stomach dropped inexplicably, this did not bode well.  
"What do we do now?"   
  
  
____________  
  
  
Next chapter up on sunday. 


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter 3  
  
  
  
It turns out that the only thing to do now was sit and wait. The Hobbits and Christine had opted for jugs of ale, but Jade passed on the opportunity. She felt uneasy in the pub, surrounded by many drunken men. It was like being back home, her Uncles friends cat calling and brushing up against her when she wasn't paying attention. She had learned to pay attention.   
  
Pippin was watching her, his eyes fixed on her with something akin to suspicion.  
"Are you evil?" he finally blurted, and then his cheeks reddened in embarrassment.   
One more reason why Jade didn't take up the vise of drinking.  
  
No, why do you think I am" Pippin seemed to be gathering his courage, and Jade noticed that the other Hobbits were listening intently as well.   
"You did magic, and you just popped up right out of no where right where we were, and Frodo has the ring!" Frodo coughed and sputtered for a few long moments.  
"PIPPIN!"   
"Well if she's evil she already knows now doesn't she!"  
"She didn't know I had it!"   
"Boys, boys!" Jade called exasperated, "I'm not evil, thank you very much for your vote of confidence by the way." Christine choked back a laugh, which turned into a snort.   
"Now, if you don't mind, why don't you tell me what a ring has to do with whether or not I'm evil?"   
"It's the One Ring" Frodo said, watching her face carefully. Jade looked at him blankly.   
"I thought we covered this, we are not from here, I have no clue what you're taking about." Frodo nodded in acceptance and the other Hobbits visibly relaxed. 'I've passed some sort of test' she realized with a start.  
Jade and Christine passed a look over the Hobbits heads, then Jade turned to Frodo again.   
"Now what about this ring?"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
An hour passed and Christine and Jade got a full history lesson on the 'ring of power.' Merry came back over to the table carrying a pint of ale.   
Pippin looked at the pint in awe.  
"What is that?" he asked, Merry smiled proudly down into his cup.  
"This, my friend, is a pint!"  
"It comes in pints?" Pippin said, "I'm getting one!"  
"You've had a whole half already!" Sam called out to his retreating form.   
Christine chuckled and took another swig of her ale, and began an animated conversation with Merry. It was as Jade listened to this that she overheard Sam's concerned voice.  
"That fellows done nothing but stare at you since we arrived." Jade glanced into the darkened corner quickly, but found him to be enveloped in shadow and was unable to make out his features. When Butterbur, the Innkeeper, walked by Jade snatched his arm and asked in a hushed voice.   
"That guy in the corner over there, who is he" she asked.  
Butterbur turned and looked at the man, then quickly turned back to her.  
"He's one of them rangers," Frodo Sam, Merry and Christine listened intently, "dangerous folk they are, wandering the wilds. What his right name is I've never heard, but 'round here he's know as Strider."  
Frodo looked somewhere between thoughtful and terrified.   
"Strider" he murmured to himself.   
"What kind of name is that?!" Christine whispered to Jade, "there's another whack job to stay away from!" Jade just nodded in agreement, then said in a low voice. "Something strange about that guy." Christine nodded her head in agreement.   
"Don't I know it!" she muttered.  
"Baggins?" Pippin's voice suddenly boomed across the room, "sure I know a Baggins! He's right over there, Frodo Baggins, he's my second cousin, once removed on his mother's side."   
  
Frodo leapt from his chair and raced across the room, darting between patrons as he went. Jade, Christine and the other Hobbits moved to go after him but their way was suddenly blocked. When their way cleared they saw Frodo land heavily on his back and a golden glitter in the air, then he was gone. Jade's eyes widened in shock, then remembered about what Frodo had said about the ring making its wearer invisible. The 5 of the search for a few moments before Christine pointed to the dark stranger shoving a frightened Frodo up the stairs of the Inn.  
  
Jade raced up the step, only dimly aware of the fact that the Hobbits and Christine were following at her heals, once in the long corridor Jade stopped and listened. A faint voice came from the end of the hallway.  
"Are you afraid little Hobbit?"  
"Yes"  
"Not nearly frightened enough, that is no mere trinket you carry!"  
  
Jade looked around and pointed to the assorted candle sticks on a table near by then lead the way down the hall. When they were in front of the door, Jade crashed it open, and found herself at the edge of a blade. Not waiting a moment she brought her hand up to his face and said 'light' her hand blazed brightly and the man turned to cover his eyes. When she felt the sword drop she kicked out and caught the man in the shin. He grunted and took a few steps back.  
  
"Wait" the man cried, squinting at her, his eye watering slightly, "I only offer assistance, you can no longer wait for the wizard, they are coming." Jade dropped her hands and took a step back. She felt her face flush with embarrassment.  
"Sorry" she said to him, her gaze apologetic.  
The man strider actually chuckled,   
"No harm done my lady, except perhaps to my pride!"  
  
Christine stepped forward and patted Jade on the back proudly.  
"That's my Jade," she cooed playfully.  
Strider looked at the girls in confusion, he studied them carefully for a few moments before asking "who… are you? I was informed only that 4 young Hobbits traveled alone with the ring." He eyed them suspiciously, "How have you come to join their company?"   
  
"By chance, and good fortune!" Frodo declared heartily, stepping toward Strider cautiously." Merry Pippin and Sam nodded at the deliration and Jade smiled brightly.  
  
Christine stepped forward and offered an explanation for there appearance.   
"We don't come from this world, we come from a place called earth. Some how we were sent here through a backfiring spell, when we woke up the Hobbits had already found us just outside of Bree. We didn't know where to go so we decided to accompany them to Bree, and protect them if we had to." Christine paused "Jade would protect them if she had to."   
  
Strider, still looking confused, began to question Christine persistently. Jade sighed and ran a hand through her hair, pulling the short dirty strands away from her face and ears. Her hair was wet enough that it lay plastered to her head where she had smoothed it. Jade smothered a yawn and sat down beside Sam, twisting a ring she wore on her finger in a nervous fashion. Sam was watching the humorous exchange between the flustered Strider and Christine, who for her part looked quite amused.   
  
When Sam heard Jade sit beside him he glance up, she was watching Christine with a mixture of amusement and disapproval. But that wasn't what caught his attention. What caught his attention were her pointed eyes. Sam gasped and stood, catching the attention of all the occupants of the room. Jade startled and almost tumbled off the bed.   
  
"Your ears!" He cried, Jade scowled at him turning red.   
"Your one to talk" She muttered darkly, glaring at the Hobbit.  
Sam shook his head, pointing at her.   
"You're an elf!" Jade was livid,   
"We'll that's great! Santa's little helper, that's me, making toys and feeding the frickin' reindeer." The Hobbits and Strider all seemed to stall, but Christine burst out laughing. "It's not funny!" She growled at Christine, who laughed all the harder.   
  
Strider stepped forward and tilted her head to the side, then studied her closely; whatever he found made him gasp.   
"You are an Elf, or at least half Elven. I thought you said you didn't come from this world?"   
  
Jade blinked, "I don't… We don't!"   
"You are of the race of both humans and elves. Can you explain this?"  
"Your serious about this?" Jade said in shock, "your not just teasing me…"  
Christine stepped forward, "that would explain why we were sent to this world, and not some other. You have a connection here, hey I bet you father came from here!"   
"That's ridicules! How can I be an elf, and what the hell is an elf anyways! My father was a one-night stand, a bum, and a drunk. He was no elf."   
"Who told you that?" Christine demanded "your bastard uncle? Oh there's a reliable source!" Jade studied the faces in the room, was it possible that she belonged in this world the way she longed to belong in her own. That elves were real and she was partly one of them? Then again she was standing in a room with four Hobbits an evil ring and a ranger named Strider. Who was she to say it wasn't possible.   
  
  
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Thank U 'Kyani Star' for my only review.... Im not bitter... Im not! ^_- 


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